When You're Gone
by GoddessofNature09
Summary: Verity's thoughts after Fred dies. Song fic with When You're Gone by Avril Lavigne.


(A/N: Apparently people like my one-shots better than my multi-chapter fics. This song-fic just popped in my head and I wrote it while watching Prince Caspian. The main character is Verity, but I wasn't sure how to put her name in. Enjoy and please review. Let me know your thoughts. Thanks! Love GoddessofNature)

It still feels so surreal. You just never think that all your perfect plans would fall and crash all around you. You always think that it'll never happen to you. That you would never be able to understand what the grieving felt like. You wish for that. You hope for that, but sometimes. Sometimes it just doesn't work that way, and you sit there and wonder what you could have done differently. IF there was something you could have done differently, and it drives you mad. Absolutely mad. No matter what someone says to try and help doesn't mean anything. It doesn't fill the void. It doesn't stop the pain or the guilt. It's just words.

_I always needed time on my own_

_I never thought I'd need you there when I cry_

_And the days feel like years when I'm alone_

_And the bed where you lie is made up on your side._

_When you walk away, I count the steps that you take._

_Do you see how much I need you right now?_

Our relationship was just in the beginning when it ended. I was always alone before I met Fred and George. I never needed anyone because everyone I had left me one way or another. I learned to cry alone, live alone, but they turned my world around. They changed everything, especially Fred. Fred got through all my walls, all my security measures and he loved me. And I let him. The day before the battle he spent the night. We just stayed up talking all night. Part of me blames myself for that night because if I had just let him sleep, maybe he would have been able to see it coming and he'd be here right now.

_When you're gone,_

_The pieces of my heart are missing you._

_When you're gone,_

_The face I came to know is missing too._

_When you're gone,_

_The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok._

_I miss you._

Part of me is missing and I know that I will never get that piece back. Fred has it and the only way I will be able to get it back is whenever I see him again. I'm still friends with George. He still means the world to me. He was one of my best friends and I couldn't let anything happen to George because of my inaction. I'd hate myself forever. Even though I see George all the time, it's not like I'm looking at Fred. Yes they are…were twins, but they are two completely different people. Fred was louder, more hyper, confident, a cuddlier and an inner romantic. I only have one picture of me and Fred together. We were laughing. I can't remember what we were laughing about, but I remember after that was when he kissed me for the first time. God, thinking about this hurts so much. I need to hear him telling me that the world isn't all bad and everything is going to be ok. I need it. Imagining his lips brushing my ear whispering sweet nothings isn't nearly enough. I can't even pretend anymore. I just can't.

_I've never felt this way before._

_Everything thing that I do reminds me of you,_

_And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor, _

_And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do._

_When you walk away, I count the steps that you take._

_Do you see how much I need you right now?_

_When you're gone,_

_The pieces of my heart are missing you._

_When you're gone,_

_The face I came to know is missing too._

_When you're gone,_

_The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok._

_I miss you._

Every single thing in my damn life reminds me of him. Even brushing my teeth because I start to think about when he would run late and run around getting ready with a toothbrush in his mouth. Today, I haven't left my bed. I've just been lying next to where he was. I'm thinking about our conversations. Everything we talked about and all our dreams. I refuse to let these memories go. Or the shirt he left that night. It was his favorite t-shirt. It was purple. Even though it looked horrible on him, He always said, "Comfort is always fashionable." It smells just like him. I wonder if there is a spell to preserve his smell. When the smell fades, I don't know what I'll do. I know I sound like a lovesick girl who is just being sappy or overdramatic, but it's so much more than that. It wasn't supposed to be Fred. He was supposed to come home that night. He was supposed to be joking about how I have too many shoes or how I haven't cleaned in a week, but he wasn't.

_We were made for each other_

_Our here forever_

_I know we were, yeah_

_All I ever wanted was for you to know_

_Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul_

_I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah_

_When you're gone,_

_The pieces of my heart are missing you._

_When you're gone,_

_The face I came to know is missing too._

_When you're gone,_

_The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok._

I believe we were made to be in each other's lives. It's simple as that. We had chemistry and we just fit. Perfect height ratio, we liked the same things, we hated the same things, we laughed at the same things and at one point George said I was more Fred's twin than he was. I don't feel him around me like I should. People always say that they never really leave, but I think he's not around. I don't feel him and it's unbearable. I can't breathe or even think anymore. Come back Fred. Please.

_I miss you._


End file.
